Recent News - Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America

14 Feb 2008

Presbyterian Manor Couple Celebrates Love Daily

If Valentine’s Day is the day for exchanging love messages, then Martin and Phyllis Jones celebrate it every day.

For 63 years, the two have been saying, “I love you,” to each other every day of the week, every week of the year. It’s an important touchstone of their relationship that has grown in meaning over the years.

Their story begins in 1945, at the end of World War II. Martin was 23, a 2nd Lieutenant in the in the U.S. Army; Phyllis was 25, a high school music teacher.

It was late in the war, Martin says, and both sides were struggling with shortages. As a prisoner of war, he was among the 7,000 Americans taken at the Battle of the Bulge in December 1944 and held in Belgium until May 1945. There was little to eat, and even the worms started to look appetizing toward the end, he says.

Because of his imprisonment, he was able return to his home in Osage City early. When he returned home, his mother wasted no time in introducing him to Phyllis Grigsby, a young lady she had befriended in her son’s absence.

“He was one handsome man when was in that uniform,” she says. He, too, found her quite attractive, and after six months of dating, Martin realized he had better “nab her before all the other men got home” from their tours of duty.

On December 28, 1945, they were married in Osage City. After they married, he ended his military service at Camp Robinson in Arkansas.

After his discharge from the Army, they moved to Lawrence. Martin finished his degree in accounting, and after earning his master’s in 1947, he taught accounting at KU for 40 years; when he retired in 1986, he was director of business and finance at the university.

Phyllis was a talented musician who played the violin as well as the piano; she also sang in the choir at Lawrence’s First Methodist Church for 30 years. Though she played the violin beautifully, Martin says, she no longer plays, but passed her violin on to one of her granddaughters.

Now residents of Presbyterian Manor in Lawrence, they have had a wonderful marriage, according to Phyllis, despite the recent challenges they have had to face.

Phyllis suffers from a form of dementia and resides in the Manor’s Assisted Living apartments, while Martin lives in a townhome on the Manor grounds. The decision to separate physically in order to ensure Phyllis gets the care she needs was “one of the most painful decisions” they’ve ever had to make—but their love endures.

Even though they live in separate quarters, they still spend a lot of time together. They attend musicals and performance arts programs in the community, and Phyllis continues to play the piano at the Manor.

When Phyllis is resting, Martin is out and about in the Manor and the community. He’s been a volunteer at numerous community organizations, including local churches and mental health groups, in Lawrence for more than 50 years.

If you ask the Joneses why their marriage has lasted so long, they will tell you that they were “mature” when they married, have been “extremely supportive” of each other and have always – always – expressed their love for each other.

But there’s another thing about the Joneses. They have come to appreciate and live the full meaning of their wedding vows: “…in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better, for worse.”

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