The Art of Aging Well
“You can’t set the clock back, but you can rewind it!”
Astonishingly, two-thirds of all people who have lived past the age of 65 in the history of the world are alive today. And the U.S. Census estimates that, by 2030, one in five Americans will be age 65 or older. So why are words like aging, senior and elderly so often whispered or avoided — especially when the Art of Aging Well is within our grasp? As George Eliot once observed, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
It’s also never too early to begin to think about the future and take the steps that will allow you to live your senior years the way you want to live. So what can you learn about aging well?
We asked several “artfully aging” seniors, including some of the more than 2,000 residents of the Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America for their secrets. The possibilities are virtually endless, but let’s look at their top Tips for the Art of Aging:
Aging begins the day you are born and says 89-year-old Florence Stephens, a resident of the Arkansas City, Kan., Presbyterian Manor, “Just remember: You can’t set the clock back, but you can rewind it!” Stephens, who shares her love of life with all comers, has written a book and produced a video on aging well. “Aging is developmental,” she counsels. “You learn to face challenges that require change in every phase of your life … at age five, 10, 20, 70 or 80. They all add up to your philosophy of life.”
As Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney recently quipped, “Age is simply experience. Some of us just have more of it.”
“It [growing older] is going to happen, so you might as well look up instead of down!” says Edna Mae Moomaw, who makes her home at the Dodge City, Kan., Manor of the Plains. “Enjoy things … and put a smile on your face.”
Myrtle LaBrier Mumma, a resident of Presbyterian Manor in Rolla, Mo., agrees. “Enjoy and accept each chapter of living as it comes,” says Mumma — an 87-year-old newlywed. “Live life to the fullest and always have a positive attitude!”
There is a movement afoot in America today. You may not have heard of “Stealth Gerontology” yet, but you’re being exposed to it every day. Stealth Gerontology is spreading the word: We don’t become less as we age, we become more.
In a country obsessed with youth and looking “young,” it’s time for us to take a long, hard look in our collective mirror and realize that aging is not a bad thing. Rather than deny the aging process, feeling pressured to look, dress and act young, Stealth Gerontology encourages us to embrace our older, better selves.
Witness the phenomenal growth of the Red Hat Society, the self-professed “new women’s movement [that is] “changing the perception of aging … to have fun and bond in sisterhood as [we] travel through the aging process together.”1
From its humble beginning in 1998 of just 18 fifty-plus friends gathering for tea, the Society has skyrocketed to more than 34,000 chapters in more than 25 countries and now counts nearly a billion red-and-purple-clad women among its members.
- Choose an “aging mentor.”
How many seniors do you count among your “best friends?” When was the last time you spent time with an older friend, discussing life philosophies — asking the tough questions and really listening? No amount of science or art will truly stop the aging process. So if you consider aging to be the enemy, maybe you need to get to know your enemy.
If you don’t already have a senior friend, find one — better yet, cultivate several. When you stop and look around, you should have an abundance of good candidates — people “of a certain age” you admire for their verve and spirit. You can learn by their examples.
“Friends are important — very important — at every stage of life,” says Norv Gish, a resident and avid volunteer at Presbyterian Manor’s Aberdeen Village in Olathe, Kan. “Supportive friends become vitally important as age begins to squeeze at your life. Loneliness is a devastating 'disease', and good friends can be the best medicine.”
Many seniors, like Gish, make a whole new set of friends when they move to a retirement community. “Aberdeen Village has a good plan for building a support network through activities of all sorts,” he says. “Friends are ‘on site’ — right there when needed.”
Others look to co-workers and church groups for those lasting friendships. Jerry Young, who recently retired after 42 years with Westar Energy, says, “Most of the group socializing we do is with other Westar retirees. We have a very active club, and we share many common interests.”
“Friends participating in group activities just make the world better,” says Gish “All you have to do is take part.”
Most retirement communities offer a wide variety of group activities — from art classes to bridge games to golf tournaments to polka lessons. But no matter where you live, from whistle-stop towns to bustling cities, chances are excellent that seniors are gathering in fun and fellowship. Check your community’s resources for senior centers and services.
Just one example is Presbyterian Manor’s Sky’s the Limit, a program designed to take group activities beyond senior groups and into the classroom, encouraging residents to interact with local school children. Whether working on scrapbooks or craft projects, or just visiting, the students gain precious insight into healthy aging. Residents get an up-close reflection of their own value — and a “shot” of youth.
Not only do group activities make the world a better place, they also improve brain function — and even sleep — for older adults, according to a study conducted by Northwestern University.2 In fact, “many of the health changes associated with aging, including the decline in sleep and cognitive abilities, can be attributed to sedentary lifestyles and social disengagement among older individuals,” the Northwestern research concluded.
The study of 12 healthy older men and women between 67 and 86 years old found that 14 weeks of a daily 90-minute social and physical activity program improved cognitive performance by 4 percent to 6 percent, and also improved sleep quality.
So, join the crowd. And sleep well.
- Follow your bliss … but KNOW your bliss.
“I couldn’t wait to retire so I could rebuild my two vintage MG’s,” says Young, a certified engineer. “But when I found myself waking up every morning feeling like I had to work on the cars, it wasn’t fun anymore.” When a friend approached him for advice on an engineering job, Young realized that was his passion. The pair recently started their own engineering consulting firm, “and now I can’t wait to get up every morning!”
The expression “follow your bliss” was popularized a quarter-century ago by noted American spiritualist Joseph Campbell. Much has since been written about discovering and pursuing our individual passions. As you embrace the Art of Aging, you are equipped with the mature wisdom and lifetime of experience to explore and discover your own true bliss.
Don’t worry. You’ll know it when you find, like Young, you look forward to each new day.
Once they learn to appreciate the value of participation with others, and have the luxury of time to fully explore your bliss, many seniors choose to volunteer — to share their gifts and enthusiasm.
Many Presbyterian Manor residents volunteer, not only within the larger community, some also choose to share themselves with their fellow residents. Gish, for example, can often be seen around Aberdeen Village, delivering mail and packages.
When Eleanore Myers first moved to the Newton, Kan., Presbyterian Manor, she began to experience some real fears of aging. But when she was asked to lead a Bible Study group at the Manor, Myers was able to adapt something she really loves into her new surroundings. These days, she also serves as chair of the community assembly, organizing the residents’ quarterly business meetings.
Because she faced her fears of aging and chose to embrace those around her, Myers is a great example of the Art of Aging. By focusing on serving others, Myers found freedom from her fears.
“I found my niche,” she says. “You’ll find yours, too.”
- Take care of your “package.”
Ermal McFarland, of the Presbyterian Manor in Newton, Kan., jokes that: “The Chinese have a way of telling about aging … they say it is the Year of the Monkey or the Year of the Horse, or what-have-you. My way of describing the year is the
Year of the Dentist, the Year of the Hearing Aid, the Year of the Scooter!” But the fact of the matter is that, as more Americans are living longer lives, they are also consciously living more healthful lives.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. How many times have you heard that line? It’s such a truism that’s is been attributed to everyone from the ancient Chinese to Mickey Mantle.
Perhaps Rolla’s newlywed Mumma sums it up best: “Live healthfully. Don’t smoke. Eat well and get enough rest. And if there is a physical problem, go to the doctor.”
The adage “use it or lose it” may well have been coined to admonish us to keep our minds sharp. It’s never too late to try to learn something new every day.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, “Good health starts with your brain. It’s one of the most vital body organs, and it needs care and maintenance.3
“Keeping your brain active and engaged increases its vitality and builds reserves of brain cells and connections. Read, write, play games, learn new things, do crossword puzzles.”
The proliferation of gray hair on college campuses is giving new meaning to “senior class.” Although it’s nothing new for seniors to take the occasional “adult education” course, many universities are now developing programs targeted to this growing group — often offering reduced tuition.
And for many, retirement offers the time and luxury to take college courses in topics that interest them, without the constraints of a defined curriculum, and without the worry of “making the grades.”
The University of Kansas is a great example. Selected by the Bernard Osher Foundation of San Francisco as one of 50 sites for its Lifelong Learning Institute, KU provides “intellectually engaging and enriching classes to diverse communities of lifelong learners, with a focus on those 50 and over.”4 Offerings for Summer 2005 range from Language and Culture of the Ukraine to Emerging Trends in Regional Contemporary Art.
In addition, the Kansas Board of Regents provides lifelong learning programs through most colleges in the state, stating that “the Board is committed to assisting Kansans in extending their learning throughout life.”5 Links to those programs are available at www.kansasregents.org/adult_ed/centers.html.
Educational opportunities for seniors also abound in Missouri. One of these, the Lifelong Learning Institute (LLI) at St. Louis’ Washington University, is currently celebrating its 10th anniversary. Requirements for this program? Intellectual curiosity and a passion for learning — oh, yes, and you must be 55 or older.
"Without having educational goals to pursue one can easily vegetate," said Washington University’s David Gee. The retired health administrator turned historian and facilitator put his own spin on the program: "The LLI serves as a public health measure as well."6
Washington University’s LLI7 is an affiliate of the Elderhostel Institute Network (EIN),8 a not-for-profit organization dedicated to providing educational opportunities for older adults. According to the EIN, “In North America today growing older is characterized by rapid change. Stereotypes are being discarded, negative images are in transformation, older people are seizing greater control of their own destinies. New social inventions are now the expected, not the exception. The LLI concept is just such an invention. Older adults care about education; they are intense and self-motivated learners, and they define their own educational experiences and enthusiasms.”
Senior learning programs affiliated with the Elderhostel Institute Network are also available in Kansas9 and in Springfield, Jefferson City and Kansas City, Mo.10
- Explore the spiritual you.
Without exception, each of the artfully aging folks we talked with stressed the importance of maintaining a strong spiritual foundation, a sense of interconnectedness with others. “Consider others first,” says Newton’s McFarland, “We’re all in this together.” Although she says she never dwells on her age, McFarland is fond of asking her visitors to guess … and gleefully revealing that she is 97-years young.
Like McFarland, Edna Mae Moomaw, who makes her home at the Dodge City, Kan., Manor of the Plains, says, “When you get right down to it, the thing that matters most is your faith. Kindness and compassion are so very important.”
And last, but certainly not least:
- Take time to smell the roses.
“Make the most of every opportunity, because you might not be able to again,” advises Myers, who leads a Bible study group for her fellow residents of the Newton, Kan., Presbyterian Manor. “Live life to the hilt!”
Bibliography of Resources
| 1 |
The Red Hat Society, www.redhatsociety.com |
| 2 |
Northwestern University news release, December 14, 2004, http://www.northwestern.edu/univ-relations/media_relations/releases/2004/12/insomnia-text.html |
| 3 |
The Alzheimer’s Association, www.alz.org |
| 4 |
The University of Kansas, www.kuce.or/lifelonglearning/ |
| 5 |
The Kansas Board of Regents, www.kansasregents.org/adult_ed/ |
| 6 |
“Lifelong Learning Institute offers wide range of courses to devoted following,” Cynthia Georges, http://record.wustl.edu/arc hive/1999/01-21-99/articles/learning.html |
| 7 |
Washington University in St. Louis, Lifelong Learning Institute, http://ucollege.wustl.edu/lifelong.php |
| 8 |
Welcome to the Elderhostel Institute Network, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/intro.asp |
| 9 |
Kansas Lifelong Learning Institutes, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/LLIList.asp?state=KS |
| 10 |
Missouri Lifelong Learning Institutes, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/LLIList.asp?state=MO |
“You can’t set the clock back, but you can rewind it!”
Astonishingly, two-thirds of all people who have lived past the age of 65 in the history of the world are alive today. And the U.S. Census estimates that, by 2030, one in five Americans will be age 65 or older. So why are words like aging, senior and elderly so often whispered or avoided — especially when the Art of Aging Well is within our grasp? As George Eliot once observed, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
It’s also never too early to begin to think about the future and take the steps that will allow you to live your senior years the way you want to live. So what can you learn about aging well?
We asked several “artfully aging” seniors, including some of the more than 2,000 residents of the Presbyterian Manors of Mid-America for their secrets. The possibilities are virtually endless, but let’s look at their top Tips for the Art of Aging:
Aging begins the day you are born and says 89-year-old Florence Stephens, a resident of the Arkansas City, Kan., Presbyterian Manor, “Just remember: You can’t set the clock back, but you can rewind it!” Stephens, who shares her love of life with all comers, has written a book and produced a video on aging well. “Aging is developmental,” she counsels. “You learn to face challenges that require change in every phase of your life … at age five, 10, 20, 70 or 80. They all add up to your philosophy of life.”
As Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney recently quipped, “Age is simply experience. Some of us just have more of it.”
“It [growing older] is going to happen, so you might as well look up instead of down!” says Edna Mae Moomaw, who makes her home at the Dodge City, Kan., Manor of the Plains. “Enjoy things … and put a smile on your face.”
Myrtle LaBrier Mumma, a resident of Presbyterian Manor in Rolla, Mo., agrees. “Enjoy and accept each chapter of living as it comes,” says Mumma — an 87-year-old newlywed. “Live life to the fullest and always have a positive attitude!”
There is a movement afoot in America today. You may not have heard of “Stealth Gerontology” yet, but you’re being exposed to it every day. Stealth Gerontology is spreading the word: We don’t become less as we age, we become more.
In a country obsessed with youth and looking “young,” it’s time for us to take a long, hard look in our collective mirror and realize that aging is not a bad thing. Rather than deny the aging process, feeling pressured to look, dress and act young, Stealth Gerontology encourages us to embrace our older, better selves.
Witness the phenomenal growth of the Red Hat Society, the self-professed “new women’s movement [that is] “changing the perception of aging … to have fun and bond in sisterhood as [we] travel through the aging process together.”1
From its humble beginning in 1998 of just 18 fifty-plus friends gathering for tea, the Society has skyrocketed to more than 34,000 chapters in more than 25 countries and now counts nearly a billion red-and-purple-clad women among its members.
- Choose an “aging mentor.”
How many seniors do you count among your “best friends?” When was the last time you spent time with an older friend, discussing life philosophies — asking the tough questions and really listening? No amount of science or art will truly stop the aging process. So if you consider aging to be the enemy, maybe you need to get to know your enemy.
If you don’t already have a senior friend, find one — better yet, cultivate several. When you stop and look around, you should have an abundance of good candidates — people “of a certain age” you admire for their verve and spirit. You can learn by their examples.
“Friends are important — very important — at every stage of life,” says Norv Gish, a resident and avid volunteer at Presbyterian Manor’s Aberdeen Village in Olathe, Kan. “Supportive friends become vitally important as age begins to squeeze at your life. Loneliness is a devastating 'disease', and good friends can be the best medicine.”
Many seniors, like Gish, make a whole new set of friends when they move to a retirement community. “Aberdeen Village has a good plan for building a support network through activities of all sorts,” he says. “Friends are ‘on site’ — right there when needed.”
Others look to co-workers and church groups for those lasting friendships. Jerry Young, who recently retired after 42 years with Westar Energy, says, “Most of the group socializing we do is with other Westar retirees. We have a very active club, and we share many common interests.”
“Friends participating in group activities just make the world better,” says Gish “All you have to do is take part.”
Most retirement communities offer a wide variety of group activities — from art classes to bridge games to golf tournaments to polka lessons. But no matter where you live, from whistle-stop towns to bustling cities, chances are excellent that seniors are gathering in fun and fellowship. Check your community’s resources for senior centers and services.
Just one example is Presbyterian Manor’s Sky’s the Limit, a program designed to take group activities beyond senior groups and into the classroom, encouraging residents to interact with local school children. Whether working on scrapbooks or craft projects, or just visiting, the students gain precious insight into healthy aging. Residents get an up-close reflection of their own value — and a “shot” of youth.
Not only do group activities make the world a better place, they also improve brain function — and even sleep — for older adults, according to a study conducted by Northwestern University.2 In fact, “many of the health changes associated with aging, including the decline in sleep and cognitive abilities, can be attributed to sedentary lifestyles and social disengagement among older individuals,” the Northwestern research concluded.
The study of 12 healthy older men and women between 67 and 86 years old found that 14 weeks of a daily 90-minute social and physical activity program improved cognitive performance by 4 percent to 6 percent, and also improved sleep quality.
So, join the crowd. And sleep well.
- Follow your bliss … but KNOW your bliss.
“I couldn’t wait to retire so I could rebuild my two vintage MG’s,” says Young, a certified engineer. “But when I found myself waking up every morning feeling like I had to work on the cars, it wasn’t fun anymore.” When a friend approached him for advice on an engineering job, Young realized that was his passion. The pair recently started their own engineering consulting firm, “and now I can’t wait to get up every morning!”
The expression “follow your bliss” was popularized a quarter-century ago by noted American spiritualist Joseph Campbell. Much has since been written about discovering and pursuing our individual passions. As you embrace the Art of Aging, you are equipped with the mature wisdom and lifetime of experience to explore and discover your own true bliss.
Don’t worry. You’ll know it when you find, like Young, you look forward to each new day.
Once they learn to appreciate the value of participation with others, and have the luxury of time to fully explore your bliss, many seniors choose to volunteer — to share their gifts and enthusiasm.
Many Presbyterian Manor residents volunteer, not only within the larger community, some also choose to share themselves with their fellow residents. Gish, for example, can often be seen around Aberdeen Village, delivering mail and packages.
When Eleanore Myers first moved to the Newton, Kan., Presbyterian Manor, she began to experience some real fears of aging. But when she was asked to lead a Bible Study group at the Manor, Myers was able to adapt something she really loves into her new surroundings. These days, she also serves as chair of the community assembly, organizing the residents’ quarterly business meetings.
Because she faced her fears of aging and chose to embrace those around her, Myers is a great example of the Art of Aging. By focusing on serving others, Myers found freedom from her fears.
“I found my niche,” she says. “You’ll find yours, too.”
- Take care of your “package.”
Ermal McFarland, of the Presbyterian Manor in Newton, Kan., jokes that: “The Chinese have a way of telling about aging … they say it is the Year of the Monkey or the Year of the Horse, or what-have-you. My way of describing the year is the
Year of the Dentist, the Year of the Hearing Aid, the Year of the Scooter!” But the fact of the matter is that, as more Americans are living longer lives, they are also consciously living more healthful lives.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. How many times have you heard that line? It’s such a truism that’s is been attributed to everyone from the ancient Chinese to Mickey Mantle.
Perhaps Rolla’s newlywed Mumma sums it up best: “Live healthfully. Don’t smoke. Eat well and get enough rest. And if there is a physical problem, go to the doctor.”
The adage “use it or lose it” may well have been coined to admonish us to keep our minds sharp. It’s never too late to try to learn something new every day.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, “Good health starts with your brain. It’s one of the most vital body organs, and it needs care and maintenance.3
“Keeping your brain active and engaged increases its vitality and builds reserves of brain cells and connections. Read, write, play games, learn new things, do crossword puzzles.”
The proliferation of gray hair on college campuses is giving new meaning to “senior class.” Although it’s nothing new for seniors to take the occasional “adult education” course, many universities are now developing programs targeted to this growing group — often offering reduced tuition.
And for many, retirement offers the time and luxury to take college courses in topics that interest them, without the constraints of a defined curriculum, and without the worry of “making the grades.”
The University of Kansas is a great example. Selected by the Bernard Osher Foundation of San Francisco as one of 50 sites for its Lifelong Learning Institute, KU provides “intellectually engaging and enriching classes to diverse communities of lifelong learners, with a focus on those 50 and over.”4 Offerings for Summer 2005 range from Language and Culture of the Ukraine to Emerging Trends in Regional Contemporary Art.
In addition, the Kansas Board of Regents provides lifelong learning programs through most colleges in the state, stating that “the Board is committed to assisting Kansans in extending their learning throughout life.”5 Links to those programs are available at www.kansasregents.org/adult_ed/centers.html.
Educational opportunities for seniors also abound in Missouri. One of these, the Lifelong Learning Institute (LLI) at St. Louis’ Washington University, is currently celebrating its 10th anniversary. Requirements for this program? Intellectual curiosity and a passion for learning — oh, yes, and you must be 55 or older.
"Without having educational goals to pursue one can easily vegetate," said Washington University’s David Gee. The retired health administrator turned historian and facilitator put his own spin on the program: "The LLI serves as a public health measure as well."6
Washington University’s LLI7 is an affiliate of the Elderhostel Institute Network (EIN),8 a not-for-profit organization dedicated to providing educational opportunities for older adults. According to the EIN, “In North America today growing older is characterized by rapid change. Stereotypes are being discarded, negative images are in transformation, older people are seizing greater control of their own destinies. New social inventions are now the expected, not the exception. The LLI concept is just such an invention. Older adults care about education; they are intense and self-motivated learners, and they define their own educational experiences and enthusiasms.”
Senior learning programs affiliated with the Elderhostel Institute Network are also available in Kansas9 and in Springfield, Jefferson City and Kansas City, Mo.10
- Explore the spiritual you.
Without exception, each of the artfully aging folks we talked with stressed the importance of maintaining a strong spiritual foundation, a sense of interconnectedness with others. “Consider others first,” says Newton’s McFarland, “We’re all in this together.” Although she says she never dwells on her age, McFarland is fond of asking her visitors to guess … and gleefully revealing that she is 97-years young.
Like McFarland, Edna Mae Moomaw, who makes her home at the Dodge City, Kan., Manor of the Plains, says, “When you get right down to it, the thing that matters most is your faith. Kindness and compassion are so very important.”
And last, but certainly not least:
- Take time to smell the roses.
“Make the most of every opportunity, because you might not be able to again,” advises Myers, who leads a Bible study group for her fellow residents of the Newton, Kan., Presbyterian Manor. “Live life to the hilt!”
Bibliography of Resources
| 1 |
The Red Hat Society, www.redhatsociety.com |
| 2 |
Northwestern University news release, December 14, 2004, http://www.northwestern.edu/univ-relations/media_relations/releases/2004/12/insomnia-text.html |
| 3 |
The Alzheimer’s Association, www.alz.org |
| 4 |
The University of Kansas, www.kuce.or/lifelonglearning/ |
| 5 |
The Kansas Board of Regents, www.kansasregents.org/adult_ed/ |
| 6 |
“Lifelong Learning Institute offers wide range of courses to devoted following,” Cynthia Georges, http://record.wustl.edu/arc hive/1999/01-21-99/articles/learning.html |
| 7 |
Washington University in St. Louis, Lifelong Learning Institute, http://ucollege.wustl.edu/lifelong.php |
| 8 |
Welcome to the Elderhostel Institute Network, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/intro.asp |
| 9 |
Kansas Lifelong Learning Institutes, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/LLIList.asp?state=KS |
| 10 |
Missouri Lifelong Learning Institutes, http://www.elderhostel.org/ein/LLIList.asp?state=MO |
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